Being a girl is tough and “having it all” can be a lifelong struggle.
If you have found yourself reading this post, you likely identify with many of the common struggles caused by being a determined, strong-willed and ambitious woman.
Balancing a career, a social life and a healthy lifestyle is a common challenge of today’s modern world. As women, we are inherently tasked with unique challenges based on our biology. Often, we are expected to be the caretakers of the family, which can include anything from a runny nose, laundry and Sunday dinner. In fact, we are more inclined to identify ourselves first as a “mother” or a “wife” rather than a “lawyer”, “nurse” or “engineer”, or any other professional title. However, these assumptions and “gender determined” roles of women have become outdated and unfounded in modern times.
Told That We Can’t Have It All
You and your mind are your only limit. The conception of “having it all” is something that is very personal and unique to one’s career and life goals. What other people think of you and your goals is none of your business.
A woman has a choice to choose what it is that she wants to do, including her career path and family goals. It is a conscious decision that you have decided to follow your dreams in your profession, as well as, balance the responsibilities of your family life. This is your choice. You must not be deterred from your passions and aspirations from the doubt of your peers. Rather, use this as an opportunity to fuel your motivation. In turn, their doubt should only fuel your drive and determination to prove them wrong.
Fear Surrounding Work-Family Balance
Women are biologically responsible for bearing children. Yet, this can greatly affect an individual’s career trajectory. Although most women choose to balance both their career and family responsibilities, they often feel guilty—whether it be for not being at work or not being at home taking care of their children.
As a young ambitious woman, you must be aware and cognisant of whether you want to have children and the timing in which you choose to take on this responsibility. As a woman, this plays an important factor in your career as we must consider which profession or type of boss would be most accommodating to our family responsibilities. For example, while you might be on the path to a promotion at work, your boss might choose your male counterpart for this position simply because he will not be leaving the company to have children. Although this is not true of every employer, it is undoubtedly a factor of consideration.
As a result, ambitious woman fear that having children could negatively impact their career trajectory. Overall, we cannot change our biology and we must accept that women portent différents chapeaux. However, this is the beauty of the strength of being a female.
Not Taken Seriously
A key factor in determining an woman’s success is the degree to which she is willing to make sacrifices. This is true of any man or woman; however, what is unique to women is the belief that they should not have any goals outside of the realm of their family life. As a result, ambitious women hear “Why do you need to get that degree? You’re just going to get married and have kids anyways.” Women struggle to be taken seriously and often sit on the sidelines while their male counterparts are praised and promoted at work.
Ambition in men is seen as an asset, whereas in women it can be deemed as a liability. Ambitious women often experience subtle—or not so subtle—moments of sexism at their workplace. Often times we choose to let these comments slide because we have goals to achieve; however, the fact of the matter is women must compete to find their place in the gentlemen’s club.
The Casual Sexism
Women are labeled as “too aggressive”, “difficult” or “abrasive” for delivering results in the workplace, while the same actions deems a man “assertive” and a “go-getter.” Consequently, we feel as though we must dim our lights and play down our achievements in order to compete in the gentlemen’s club. At the end of the day, women want a spot at the table–we have worked so hard to earn it! Don’t dim your light for anyone!
To The Ambitious Women Labeled As:
Aggressive – Keep being Assertive
Bossy – Keep Leading.
Difficult – Keep telling the Truth.
Too Much – Keep taking up Space
Awkward – Keep asking hard Questions.
Do not shrink yourself down to fit in… you were born to stand out!
If you enjoyed this read, check out Brooklyn’s post about female leadership here.
