When I was in my early twenties before kids entered the picture, I would often pride myself on how efficient I was in my job.
I could manage multiple competing priorities. Take a phone call while at the same time drafting a well-articulated email. I showed up each day ready and willing to work collaboratively with my co-workers and provide insightful feedback to my boss. Seriously, I could manage it all. I was willing to stay as late as required to get the job done or take my work home with me.
You can still remain effective at the office after kids trust me!
After becoming pregnant with my first son, I didn’t give much thought as to how I would transition back into the workforce.
I focused a full 12 months of maternity leave on enriching my son’s comprehension of the world while completely unplugging from anything work-related myself. On a weekly basis, I barely opened my laptop except to online shop. Read the news? Stay up to date on current events?…forget it! I had parenting blogs to comb through! It wasn’t until I was back to work at the end of a long hiatus that I realized my time spent at the office needed an overhaul.
My first weeks back at work were a challenge to say the least. I had started a new job at a new workplace that I wasn’t familiar with. To make matters worse, it became clear to me as soon as I walked through the door that my new co-workers were eagerly awaiting my arrival to help lighten the load and I became filled with anxiety about my decision to return to the workforce. I immediately started thinking to myself: “I hope they don’t expect me to stay late, my daycare closes at 5:00pm! Or “what if my son gets sick in his first few weeks at daycare – I’ll need to leave early to pick him up.” Things like “I wonder if there’s anyone else in my department with young kids”, and “I hope they don’t mind if I slip out at lunch hour… I really need groceries!” I was a wreck with emotions and obsessed with worst-case-scenarios. After a few months on the job, I found my groove and I now pride myself on being a slightly-different version of the old efficient me!
Here are a few things that helped remain effective at the office after kids.
Closing your office door and/or letting your co-workers know when you need some quiet time.
One of my biggest challenges after returning to the workplace was managing my time. I had to ensure I could work within the new rigid hours of daycare pick-ups/drop-offs. My spouse doesn’t have any flexibility in his workday and unfortunately isn’t able to help me with unloading my son at daycare each morning or picking him up at the end of the day (newsflash: most daycares close between 5:00-6:00pm SHARP). I quickly realized that in order to meet my deadlines, the old days of taking 20-30 mins (or more) here and there to chat with a co-worker about their evening plans were over. I also realized was that IT’S OKAY to tell your co-workers when you need some quiet time to focus. If that means shutting your office door or putting your headphones in, you’re not offending anyone! I usually listen to a podcast or something on spotify. If you’re lucky enough to have great co-workers, they may also offer their assistance when they know you’re under pressure. This is the one that allows me to remain most effective at the office after kids.
Stop feeling guilty about parenthood – (almost) everyone’s been there…or will be one day.
Let’s face the facts, 9 out of 10 of your co-workers have or will likely have kids in the future. When I returned to work, one of my biggest fears was that my co-workers would see me as a constant inconvenience if I had to leave early to take my son to an appointment, or pick him up from daycare with an illness. After settling in to my surroundings, I quickly learned that most of my co-workers had either “been there, done that!” or would probably be in my shoes in the near future. There is nothing to feel guilty about! We’re all at different seasons of life and most co-workers are willing to chip in if you need to be out of the office for an afternoon. Be clear and firm about your schedule to your boss. If it looks like everyone’s going to have to stay a little later on a Wednesday afternoon and you know you’re not able to, make sure your boss knows. It is okay to say you do not have flexibility with your evening and are not able to stay late. Motherhood always comes first!
To break…or not to break – that is the question?
At my workplace, when 12:00pm hits, the parking lot floods with staff rushing to their cars to hit the nearest fast food joint or simply to get out of the office. Boardroom tables quickly fill with chatter and last-night’s lasagna. Very few miss the opportunity to take a well-deserved break from their computer screens. I don’t blame them one bit! When I returned to work, I came to realize that lunch hour also served as a tremendous opportunity to be effective in my home-life. Booking doctors/dentist appointments, responding to private emails/text messages, getting a few groceries, researching weekend activities…can all be done DURING THE WORKDAY. To be clear, I’m not suggesting that anyone skip last night’s lasagna all-together, but I highly recommend using part of your breaks/lunch hour to help lighten the load in your life outside of work. After all, what’s more relaxing – grocery shopping with kids in tow…or without?
Repeat after me, work will always be there tomorrow!
I realize that we live in the “connected” era that sets expectations to always be working. I understand that this is good for business but your kids don’t care! They don’t care about that email you receive in the middle of story-time. Further, they don’t care about the edits you need to make on your report (sent by your boss at 9:00pm). Motherhood is the greatest gift. I cannot stress enough that work will always be there tomorrow. Stop feeling guilty about the edits you didn’t make at 1:00am. Focus on the NOW, focus on your FAMILY, and focus on YOU when you can. So listen mama’s keep these tips in mind if you’re feeling a little less effective at the office after kids, they helped me! If you’re looking for some more parenting tips or ways to manage your relationship with a new baby look no further, Taylor’s got you covered.
