Balancing your relationship with a newborn doesn’t have to be hard. I remember when people began to learn that I was pregnant and they would always say, “you should enjoy your time with Austin now because soon you won’t have any time together when the baby arrives”. I always hated hearing that because having a baby doesn’t need to mean you will lose time with your partner! Yes your relationship changes as your family evolves but it doesn’t have to mean your relationship with your partner has to take the back burner.
Who made this assumption and who enabled its truth?
As it is, I know that having a new addition to your family can be difficult at first and it can be hard to get into the groove of things. Along with your newfound lack of sleep, it can also feel like your relationship is also greatly lacking. However, trust me when I say that it goes away with time and as soon as you get into the routine of things, life starts to feel normal again. To help ease this tough transition into motherhood and provide you some normality, here are four tips that will not only balance your relationship with your partner but allow it to grow and develop alongside that of your newborn.
1. Family Time Does Count as Spending Time Together
Something I realized quickly was having family time was essential to keeping my relationship grounded. Watching Austin play and interact with our son made him 10x more attractive and also gave us a chance to talk to each other about our daily lives without any distractions. Our son was present but it did not make it any less of a bonding experience between the two of us. If anything having our newborn there improved the quality of our time!
2. Take a Date Night (It Doesn’t Make You Bad Parents)
It seems that society is ready to label you a bad parent for any reason under the sun. THIS IS YOUR REMINDER – date night without the baby doesn’t make you bad parents. A week after I gave birth I left my newborn Ryder with my mother so Austin and I could have time alone together. The best part was that while we began to feel refreshed spending time together but we also found ourselves eager to get home to see him. Do not be afraid of what others think or say, taking some time to yourselves (and if that means leaving your baby at home with a family member) is completely healthy. Take advantage of it while you can! If you need some date night ideas check out these.
3. Have a Hobby Together
Something I realized when I was pregnant was that finding a hobby to do together was an amazing way to feel connected in my relationship. For us, that hobby was going to the gym. While our exercise routines were different, we drove there together, occasionally met up during our work outs and had discussions about how our bodies were feeling afterward. Even now with a newborn, this is something we try to maintain. Fitness might not be your thing and that is also completely okay! A hobby could be anything that you both enjoy doing. It could be something as simple as reading the same book and coming back together to discuss it, like creating your own personal book club for just the two of you! The options are countless, but I can promise you it’ll provide a small yet intimate constant in your relationship as it changes.
4. Netflix and Chill
This tip could be classified under the category of a “hobby” but not for Austin and I. While I was pregnant, we got obsessed with the reality show “Summer House” (I recommend this to anyone looking for something fun to watch with minimal drama) and it’s carried on even now, after my pregnancy. It’s a show that we watch while and after Ryder falls asleep. Through watching tv together, Austin and still find ourselves learning new things about each other, whether it’s our favourite type of genre or the little details that make us laugh, cry, or shout – we’re doing it together. Plus, it really gives us time to unwind together and get out of whatever else is going on in our lives to just be with one another.
Things are going to change of course as you add another tiny human into your family (especially if it’s your first) but I hope these tips help you in balancing your relationship as it evolves with your newborn. If you want to test out cooking together as your new hobby check out these fall recipes.
