Well, here we are three months into 2020 and if you’re a news “enthusiast” like myself, you’re probably cringing every time you sit down in front of your television. COVID-19, the plummeting CAD dollar, protests and the list does on and on. It’s difficult to enjoy your evening when you’re consumed with the latest international setbacks. Given the growing newsreel of tragedy, my man and I decided to switch things up a little. We’re not typically “Netflix” binging people, but with all the social media hype, the new “Love is Blind” series quickly consumed our evenings.
If you haven’t seen it – just try one episode… I promise it does not disappoint. The show has also ignited some great conversations for my spouse and I regarding our relationship that, in our opinion, remains strong. Given that the premise of our favourite show is based on the strength of emotional connection vs. physical connection, it has allowed my spouse and I to truly reflect on how we’ve maintained our love and lust for one another. A synopsis of our recent post “Love-is Blind” episode discussions below:
1. Don’t stoke the fire… Love is Blind Reference: Damian & Giannina
Not to pump our own tires, but my spouse and I each possess pretty even-temperaments. It takes A LOT of poking and prodding to get us heated. That being said, if one of us is having a bad day and blows a few small aggravations out of proportion (usually me), the other quickly pours some sand on the fire, even when it can be tempting to throw a few more branches on the flame.
One thing that’s vital to the strength of our relationship is maintaining a positive demeanor with one another, as well as our children. In my younger days, I was much quicker to anger. I now realize how a breath of calm is essential to keeping the storm at bay. I may want to highlight the building pile of clothes to be dry-cleaned on the bedroom floor – or I could pack them up and take them to the cleaners the next day to be helpful.
2. When life gives you lemons, find your “vodka” … Love is Blind Reference: Barnett & Amber
A topic of constant discussion between my spouse and I is how we can make one-another’s lives easier. We both know, balance helps keep our life “fun!” When I became pregnant with my first son, I knew that life would change drastically, but I also knew that I wanted to continue truly living life to the fullest. If I wake up on Sunday morning and I feel a mimosa is in order, I never hesitate when I open my refrigerator door to a full bottle of orange juice.
If my spouse has an opportunity to travel for work for a few days, I’m always ready and willing to join him for some sight-seeing and Segway touring. Keeping our day-to-day lives meaningful and exciting has helped to keep our relationship fresh.
Sidenote/hidden talent: I have an uncanny ability to memorize lines from my favourite movies. During long drives I like to throw out these lines in the middle of serious discussions at random. The puzzled look on his face tells me how much he appreciates our equal ability to keep things fun and exciting!
3. Absence makes the heart grow fonder…Love is Blind Reference: Jessica & Mark
If you’ve finished the “Love is Blind” series already… I’m talking Jessica and Mark pre-pods exit. My spouse and I spend a lot of time apart. This is not voluntarily but the demands of our careers often separate us for days and even weeks throughout the year. Whenever I share with someone new how frequent my spouse and I are apart, I’m always met with “that must be really hard” or “I don’t know how you do it!”
Truth be told, I believe that our time spent physically apart is integral to growing our relationship. When my spouse is away, we still make time to talk via phone or text at least once a day. Oftentimes, these are my favourite conversations. It provides us with an opportunity to have those deep, meaningful discussions and focus solely on listening and providing advice/support to one another. It reinforces the foundation of our partnership which is built upon an emotional connection first and foremost. That isn’t to say we don’t wish we could be in the same city 7 days a week, but we’ve found wonderful opportunities to enrich our relationship when we need to be apart.
4. Keep it Real … Love is Blind Reference: Kelly & Kenny
Much like my love of pretty things, I equally love a pretty picture but I can honestly say that the relationship we project to others is 100% genuine and authentic. We’re not into showy PDA and we both take it easy on social media when it comes to one another. We’re the same people in a group setting as we are in private. We know what to expect of one another and we’ve established what a respectful relationship looks like with one another. Honesty is something we both strongly value and can appreciate when the other shares a concern that may be surfacing. We problem-solve together and we share in each other’s ups and downs. Having a support system in one another keeps our relationship thriving and I’m thankful everyday that I get to wake up to my spouse.
If you’re finding your relationship looks much more envious on Instagram than in real life, it’s probably time for some reflection with your partner.
5. When it’s right, it’s right… Love is Blind Reference: Lauren & Cameron
While it’s true that some relationships take time to develop (i.e. Damian and Giannina), others can take no time at all. I spent much of my early twenties figuring out what I wanted in a partner. There was never an instantaneous connection and feeling of “I cannot live my life without this person” until I met my spouse. When we did meet, things moved quickly but two kids and four homes later, we both have no regrets. Everyone’s pace is different and there is no shame in taking things slow or moving more quickly. If you’ve recently met someone great and you’re worried about pace; my honest advice would be: “don’t worry – let the chips fall where they may.”
…I’ll leave off by noting that the international landscape has changed drastically since I began writing this post. I know now that I don’t need to recommend that you binge-watch the “Love is Blind” you will be forced to. I’d love to hear your thoughts! One last thing, I don’t think I have say this but … girl, wash your hands.
