I was listening to an episode of The Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett. It featured a compelling roundtable with Louise Perry (journalist and author), Erica Komisar (psychoanalyst and parenting expert), and Deborah Frances-White (comedian and host of The Guilty Feminist podcast). The discussion started with modern womanhood but quickly turned to something more intimate and revealing: the emotional cost of today’s casual approach to sex and relationships.
Louise Perry shared a statistic that stayed with me. Eighty-two percent of young women report feeling anxious or depressed after casual sex. Her argument was clear. While the sexual revolution gave women autonomy, it also removed the cultural permission to say no. Sex was reframed as consequence-free. Empowerment became linked to detachment. And the emotional aftermath was left out of the conversation entirely.
Deborah Frances-White responded with a firm defense of choice. In her view, true feminism means being able to choose the kind of life you want. Whether that includes marriage and motherhood, or a life without strings or labels, is irrelevant. What matters is the ability to decide for yourself.
Erica Komisar offered a more measured perspective. She pointed out that as society deprioritizes caregiving and long-term relationships, both women and men are feeling a sense of disconnection. There is a cost to valuing instant gratification over deeper bonds. That cost is becoming visible in our mental and emotional health.
Apps have only accelerated this shift. With endless faces to swipe through, real connection feels increasingly rare. Relationships are no longer built. They are browsed, skimmed, and often ghosted. In the process, something important is lost. Intentionality.
Despite being more connected than ever, studies show that people, especially young adults, report unprecedented levels of loneliness. The paradox is hard to ignore. We can reach anyone at any time. Yet many of us feel more emotionally isolated than ever before.
I share this not from a place of judgment, but reflection. I’m happily married. Still, I cannot help but notice what is happening around me. In conversations, in culture, in quiet moments when the noise fades. This blog is for women. And part of that means pausing to question the messages we are given, the choices we make, and how we truly feel in the aftermath.
This is not a critique of personal choice, but a reflection on the culture around it. It is a call for honesty. For asking harder questions. For taking a closer look at what freedom is actually giving us, and what it might be quietly taking away.
Maybe it is time to stop pretending that endless choice always leads to better outcomes. That more sex equals more happiness. That emotional detachment is a strength.
Because if the most empowered generation of women also feels like the loneliest, then maybe we need to ask why.
Watch the full podcast episode here.
