I Used To Have A Waistline: Advice On Menopause

At this point in my hormonal journey, I’m on the far side of menopause and I feel like I’m qualified to offer some advice to everyone who has yet to enjoy the ride.  

For those of you in your 20s and 30s, don’t worry about the perimenopausal and menopausal years.  Don’t listen to the 40- and 50-year-olds who warn you of the torture of hot flashes, mood swings, and a thickening waistline. I’m here to tell you — from the far side of 60 — that it’s not that bad. It’s all about your attitude, and your diet, and your lifestyle, and a couple of other things.  But, like I said, don’t worry about it now.  You’ve got enough to deal with at this stage in your life.

However, for those of you starting your menopausal journey, I have some advice.

Hot flashes are an almost universal sign of the times.  Don’t fight them and don’t try to hide them. You can buy patterned shirts so that your sweat-stained armpits are camouflaged when the inferno hits you, but don’t pretend that it’s not happening, and certainly don’t apologize for it. Pull out your portable fan and turn it on high. Tell whoever you’re with that you’re having a moment. For those that don’t understand, you don’t need to explain it to them. Don’t be embarrassed by hot flashes — they’re a normal part of the process.  

And please, don’t say meaningless junk like, “I’m having a senior moment,” or “brain fog.” These phrases are myths perpetrated by the same people who created the rumour that when your hair turns grey, your brains leak out of your ears, you go deaf, and blind, and start wearing extra large, ugly black walking shoes with Velcro closures. 

You’re not having a senior moment or brain fog. You’re simply tired from working full time and rushing around looking after everyone else for the last 25 or 30 years. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing that needs justification.

Take naps.  The inevitable hot flashes are going to interrupt your sleep. Naps are not a luxury during menopause; they are a necessity. The same people responsible for the terms “senior moment” and “brain fog,” also righteously declared that naps are a waste of time and only lazy people take them. Nonsense.  Complete, utter nonsense. Take naps.

Don’t apologize for having less tolerance for noisy environments. Say “no” to invitations that don’t interest you. Don’t explain why you’re not interested in going to a club where you have to lean in and shriek at the top of your lungs to have a conversation with the person sitting next to you. Just say, “No thanks. I’d rather do just about anything else, but thanks for thinking of me.”  

Embrace your newfound ability to recognize bullshit and fearlessly call it out. That skill seems to appear along with the hot flashes. It’s one of the blessings of menopause that doesn’t get enough recognition.

Menopause is a natural phase of life, like puberty, pregnancy, and childbearing.  Normalize it by speaking about it openly without shame or embarrassment. Honour the challenges – the hot flashes, the sleep issues, the disappearance of your waistline, and your strength in meeting those challenges. Buy some pretty, flowy, patterned shirts and elastic-waisted pants and carry on.  

You’re a powerful, wise woman with a brand-new wardrobe. Step into your power.  

Written by Jan Earnshaw

About Jan

“I am a writer with a background in nursing, music, teaching, and motherhood. Every phase of my life has been rich with lessons that I carry with me.”