I have always known that I wanted to be a mother. When I found out I was pregnant, I was scared (who isn’t) but more than that I felt a sense of readiness. No matter what happened, I was ready to be a mom.
Nine months later Ryder came into this world, two weeks early. At this time, I was feeling unprepared, terrified and refused to go to the hospital until my floors were cleaned. The first couple of weeks were rough. He was jaundice, which came with waking up every three hours to make sure he was eating. No one is ever prepared for the lack of sleep when you have a newborn, especially when they’re jaundice. Slowly things got better and a routine formed.
It’s been a year now and looking back I can’t help but laugh. I was like every new mom, scared, happy, spacey and exhausted, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Well, I’d change the shoes I decided to wear to the hospital, but that’s about it.
Over the past year I have learned so much, a lot of things that no book or friend ever told me. Looking back they are things I wish I’d known. So today I want to share three pieces of advice about motherhood that I’ve learned during my first year of motherhood.
1. Listen to that Unsolicited Advice
Unsolicited advice, every moms worst enemy – I mean, other than a poopy diaper. Unsolicited advice from other moms can be more harmful than helpful no matter how well intentioned, but sometimes it really can be helpful. So as much as you want to ignore what the person is saying, listen and save it for later. You never know when that advice might actually come in handy. That being said, always remember that at the end of the day it is your child, not Karen’s. So listen to the advice – and take it and save it for later.
2. Take the Help
As moms we naturally want to be able to do it all, but sometimes we just can’t and that’s okay! Learn to take help when it’s offered and ask for help when you need it. It doesn’t make you a bad mom and it doesn’t mean you can’t handle motherhood. You are human and we all need help, especially moms, so take a nap when someone offers to watch your little one for an hour or two. They’re offering because they know motherhood is hard work and you deserve a break. If you’re having a hard time with this one and feeling that dreaded mom shame – check out my post on how to get over it here.
3. You’re Going to Screw Up
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT MOTHER, read that again. No one is the perfect mom and no one will ever be and nobody has one. I have a laundry list of screw ups I have done during my first year of motherhood. I am likely to make way more with each passing year and I am okay with that because at the end of the day my son is happy and healthy. You’re going to mess up or do something wrong and that’s okay. It’s how we learn to become better parents and how our kids learn its okay to make mistakes, because mama makes mistakes as well.
My son has truly made me a better person. He has shown me how to be patient, kind, understanding and loving. I know that most moms say this and it’s because it’s true. You will be tested in ways you never thought possible and it will all be worth it because you’re doing it for them.
If you remember anything from this post, remember this, you’re an amazing mom. You can find more motherhood tips under our parenthood tab and If you’re struggling to balance your relationship with a newborn, check out my post on that (here).
