Single Ladies, Put Your Hands Up!

How-To Own Your Single Status

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and as a 25-year-old single gal I’ve found myself reflecting on my current relationship status. Maybe it’s because of my recent Love Island  binge, or family constantly asking, “are you EVER going to date someone?” Whatever the reason may be, I am very aware that I am single. I think a lot of fellow Single Ladies **Put Your Hands Up** are doing the same even if we don’t want to admit it. Do you ever feel when asked if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend and you answer “no, I’m single” you are met with a sympathetic look or response? We need to eliminate the negative connotations that are associated with the term for being on your own. There is absolutely nothing to be sad about and if you are, I want to help change that.

Actress and activist Emma Watson worked to invent a label for being happily single and in an interview with Vogue and called it “self-partnered.” She explained how at first, she never did believe the “you can be happy and single spiel.” However, like Emma eventually learned, and I have always trusted, one can be content alone or “self-partnered.”

“It took me a long time, but I am very happy, I call it Self-partnered.” – Emma Watson 

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what title you choose to label your current status, but what does matter is how you feel about it. I think the key importance here is to understand the meaning behind Emma’s “self-partnered” revelation. It is possible to work and grow towards being content on your own and although happiness is never a permanent state, we shouldn’t feel we need to have a relationship or depend on someone in order to achieve it. I am not saying that you can’t allow a relationship to bring you joy or happiness, but the more you can be okay on your own will only allow you to progress in a healthy relationship in the future.

As humans, companionship is something that naturally we yearn for or want, but it can take on many different forms for different people. I can say as I have gotten older, I am genuinely happy for those around me who have found a mutual connection with someone while accepting the fact that being on my own is just as much okay. If you want to get to a place where you can feel the same here are some general tips that I think can help…

Don’t Take Yourself too Seriously

I am the poster child when it comes to the motto “live and learn.” This is attested to the fact that I can be very impulsive, have a SEIZE the day approach to life sometimes, and therefore have always learned things the hard way. One of the biggest skills I have acquired because of this is learning to laugh at myself. This came in handy when I recently went out on a first date, with a lovely gent. The poor guy pulled in the driveway and I attempted to walkover and get in his vehicle, doesn’t sound like a hard task, right? Well I took one step outside in the lovely northern snow and completely wiped out.

When you take yourself too seriously, it can be easy to fall into a self-loathing state, or a poor me moment about being single. It will also allow your insecurities to get the best of you when you can’t make a joke at your own expense. This will not only allow yourself to be more at ease but also those around you.

Be Realistic

Set realistic goals for yourself in any aspect of your life! I am a huge dreamer and always have my head in the clouds. When set yourself up for failure, it is easy to feel inadequate. This can translate into how you feel about your relationship status. When you are crushing your goals and feeling purposeful you will be less likely to focus on the things you feel are missing at the time.

Find Something You’re Passionate About 

When you are doing things you love, whether that’s a hobby or your career it can bring on the best feeling of contentment. Only good things can come from it and it may give you a whole new sense of purpose. For example, I like to help in my community and volunteer with different events. It began as helping with a local festival’s marketing and turned into starring in a whole string of fun promotional videos. I had an absolute blast while doing so and ended up making connections that can only benefit me professionally in the future. When you are able to hone in on things you love doing it is amazing what you can accomplish and how much fulfillment it can bring.

Be in the Moment

This one is such a cliché, scrolling through your social media right now I bet you can find a couple posts automatically referencing the fact that life is short. Well people… it’s a cliché for a reason It’s TRUE. Just enjoy the moments as they come, be present, and don’t stress so much about the future. A healthy amount of stress is always good, but there are some things that you won’t be able to control so worrying about them is just wasting precious time.

Spend Time with Your People!

There is nothing better for your soul than quality time with your loved ones. I am always bouncing around visiting family and friends in my free time. When surrounding yourself with supportive people who have your best interest only helps you to keep a level head.

I want all of you to WORK the title of a “Single Lady” this Valentines Day. You put on that metaphorical black one-piece and heels (or the real deal if you have it) and…

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Celebrate those strong positive relationships you already have in your life and make plans with your Galentines. If you need some ideas on what to do make sure to check out our blog article with the perfect Galentine’s Day Date Ideas For You and Your Bestie.