I never expected to deal with acne in my mid-twenties.
Growing up, my skin was never something I really worried about — maybe the odd breakout here and there, but nothing that ever made me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I was always very proud of my skin and thought it was perfect — I guess I took it for granted. After my 24th birthday, that all seemed to change really quickly.
The summer of 2023, I decided to go off birth control — a decision my then-partner and I made together for our future. Looking back, I wish I had never made that change. That one decision ended up being the potential trigger for a two-year journey that became one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through. Slowly, over the next few months, my skin got worse. What started as a few pimples turned into painful, inflamed, cystic acne that covered my forehead, cheeks, and jawline. At first, I stayed hopeful. But as the months went by and nothing improved, my mental health started to spiral. By the time I turned 25 the following year, my confidence was at an all-time low.
Trying Everything
Between January and August of 2024, I tried everything. I saw my doctor, my dermatologist, and even a naturopath. I went through topical steroids, prescription creams, supplements, acupuncture, and blue light/red light therapy. I told myself I didn’t want to take any medication — I wanted to do this naturally. So, I adjusted my skincare routine time and time again, changed my pillowcases and laundry detergent, and cut out gluten and dairy. I even tried the Lion Diet (yes, just red meat, salt, and water for two weeks) until it made me sick. Friends and family offered tips, and I was open to anything. But nothing worked.
The Breaking Point
My breaking point came one morning after a yoga class. I remember feeling strong in my body for the first time in a while, but as soon as I stepped foot into the shower, I broke down. I couldn’t stop crying and hyperventilating. I felt exhausted, helpless, and like I wasn’t even me anymore. I was sick and tired of avoiding mirrors, doing my skincare and makeup routine only to end up in more pain, and trying to pull myself together — not only for me, but for my ex-partner. I thought I was doing everything right and still seeing no results — and I just couldn’t take it anymore.
That moment forced me to reevaluate everything. I made the decision to go back on birth control — which honestly made my skin worse at first — and saw my doctor again. That’s when she told me my acne had progressed beyond acne: it had become a bacterial infection. I was devastated. But I also felt clarity for the first time in months. Both my doctor and my dermatologist agreed that it was time for Accutane. And in August of 2024, I made the choice to go on it — not because anyone told me to, but because I knew I needed to.
The Realities of Accutane
Accutane wasn’t easy. I was on it for seven months, and I cut out alcohol for a full year. The side effects were real, and the higher the dosage got, the harder it became. They all told me it would get worse before it got better — and they weren’t kidding. But looking back now, four months post-treatment, I can say with full confidence: it was the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. My skin is getting better every single day. I still deal with some scarring and redness, but I’m in regular contact with my dermatologist, and my skincare routine now only consists of dermatologist-approved products. It’s super minimal and actually effective. For the first time in over two years, I feel like me again.
I lost a lot during this process — including a relationship — but what I’ve gained is something deeper. I’ve gained self-trust. I’ve gained clarity. And I’ve gained a kind of confidence that doesn’t come from having perfect skin, but from knowing I fought for myself through something that nearly broke me.
Honesty and Isolation
About a month ago, I posted a short acne journey video on my social media accounts — not for sympathy, but because I needed to be honest about what I was going through. I didn’t overthink it. I just wanted to show the reality of what my skin looked like and what I had been silently dealing with. The response was overwhelming. Every day, I get messages from people sharing their own journeys and struggles, and I love that people feel like they can open up to me. But to be completely honest — no amount of support or kind comments could take away how alone I felt in it all.
That’s the thing no one really talks about: even when people are kind, even when you have support, something like this can still feel deeply isolating. You’re the one waking up with it. You’re the one avoiding mirrors and telling yourself you’re not beautiful or sexy anymore. You’re the one carrying that weight.
Two Years Later
I’m about to turn 26, and I mean it when I say these past two years have been the most transformative and the most difficult times of my life. This journey pushed me to a place I never thought I’d reach — emotionally, physically, and mentally. But I came out of it with a stronger sense of self and a deeper understanding of how far I’m willing to go to take care of myself. I don’t know if my acne is “cured.” I don’t know if it’ll ever come back. But I do know that if it does, I’ll be okay. Because now I know what I’m capable of — and I trust myself to keep doing what’s best for me. In the end, I think I proved to myself that no matter what happens, I will always fight for myself.
Written by Emily Fisher
About Emily
Emily Fisher is a Toronto-based professional working in marketing and fashion and is passionate about all movement /wellness disciplines. As a graduate of Toronto Metropolitan University with a BFA in Performance Dance, she has gone on to explore creative outlets in modelling, brand marketing, and social media content creation. Emily is a creative at heart, with a deep love for storytelling, personal growth journeys, and creating welcoming spaces for transformative conversations.
