“I feel most beautiful when I’m surrounded by nature.”
My friend blurted out, as we sat on a high rock overlooking the Englishman river. Her and I spent the day together basking in the sun, swimming our worries away with the currents from melting glaciers. We were in Nanaimo, on Vancouver Island in British Columbia.
I turned to her, taken aback by her very sudden and – what I thought – poetic share. We had been sitting in silence for the past fifteen-ish minutes.
She didn’t ask me the question back, and I didn’t respond because at the time, I didn’t have an answer; so I reflected on it for the past month. Here’s what I’ve come up with.
If you want to know when I feel I look my most beautiful, open my photos app. On a night out, it’s filled with selfies. My make up sits in all the right places and my outfit is an extension of how I feel inside.
But I don’t always go out. Therefore, it would be such a disservice to say I only feel beautiful under those circumstances.
Take right now for instance. I’m sitting in my pajamas, hair wet from a shower and starting to write this story at 11:11pm at night. The moment is beautiful, but I don’t know if I “feel” beautiful.
At first, this was a hard question to answer. I put pressure on my metric of choice. But then I thought about all the moments that contained beauty in the past month and I thought about my people – my community here in London.
August has been a very special month for my friendships. I spent a whole six days in beautiful BC around old friends (I lived there for 3 years before moving to London), and then flew back here for a job where I got to meet and hang out with new friends from all over Europe.
Living abroad will challenge your idea of beauty, because it will force you to create your own.
I call some of my friends here “cheat” friends: other Canadian dancers who’ve also made the jump across the pond to pursue their dreams (the ‘cheat’ part comes from the fact that I don’t have to start fresh like with everyone else from London). We confide in being away from our families, how much stronger the Sterling pound is compared to our measly Canadian dollar; but more importantly, we’re there for each other.
As I’ve gotten more seasoned in my life abroad (four cities and three continents in the past six years), there’s something special about people from your city going through similar experiences in a new one.
It’s an automatic bond that sets the foundation for a friendship more meaningful, connected and authentic. We all moved here on our own individual paths, which is the same path that’s bringing us together in this chapter of our lives.
So when one of us doesn’t book the “dream” audition, or when another actively doesn’t go for a job that doesn’t feel aligned, we get it.
And that goes for my new London friends as well. Being a performer is hard enough. My friendships have made me feel like the hardships are normal, the feelings are valid and that the uncertainty is a right of passage. Beautiful.
I recently walked away from a major support system that I came to London with, and while it has been rough the past six months of adjusting to life without it, it’s been pretty easy to look around myself and still feel beauty. And that’s most definitely because of my sister Celeste.
I simply couldn’t imagine what my experience in London would be like if I didn’t do it alongside her.
She is everything to me and everything for me. My stylist, my critique, my cheerleader. Having that source of secureness is more than just beautiful, it’s privileged.
Celeste assimilated much more quickly into the North East London lifestyle than I did. She found a great job, made great friends and always knows of the coolest things going on around us and outside our 5km radius.
While we don’t live together right now, we made a lot of time for each other in August. When I’m with her, I let the air out of my stomach and feel like I can finally drop my shoulders. Beautiful.
So now, my answer is clear and simple. Being around my people is when I feel most beautiful.
They’re vibrant, they’re talented, they’re kind and they’re honest. And I’d like to think I am too.
They’re extensions of who I am to my core. They represent my values, the healing of life’s scars and the comfort of having a home away from home.
When we’re together, I’ll actively take a moment to just sit and smile, watching them exist in the world. Seeing their beauty, means I get to feel mine. In a weird way, it’s the only time I get to experience my own inner beauty.
A friend from home visited in July and I was sharing with him that I feel so lucky to have the community that I have here abroad. I must’ve said something like, “I can’t believe I’m surrounded by so many beautiful people inside and out.”
He turned to me and said, “Yeah, because you’re beautiful.”
Written by Felicia Chiappetta
About Felicia
Felicia Chiappetta is a published journalist and movement artist originally from Toronto, Canada. She currently resides in London, UK, pursuing dance and the creative arts. Her on-screen credits include A24, Netflix, Warner Brothers, Disney, Paramount+, London Fashion Week, BBC and The CW Network. She holds a BSc. in Psychology, Neuroscience & Behaviour and a Masters in Journalism; having her works published in local newspapers across Vancouver’s Lower Mainland. She is also the editorial director of 8 Magazine; an arts platform that uplifts Canadian artists in the entertainment industry.
Here’s a link to Felicia’s website!
