Working From Home With Children

Contributor | Raising Boys | Canadian Patriot | Find Me…

Let me start by saying, kudos to everyone working from home right now. Working from home comes with a host of different challenges. I’ve read many articles in recent weeks about how to work effectively from my kitchen table. This advice has included: try to stick to your normal daily routine, dress in work attire for “Zoom” meetings, let others in your home know that you’re not “available” right now. There are many of us however, who are attempting to work from home whilst dodgeballs are repeatedly thrown directly into our faces.

We are known as the “working from home parents of young children” and many of us, are suffering in silence.

Speaking from my own perspective, my goal each day is to wake up and showcase to my employer that I am simply un-phased working from home. I strive not to let one blip peek through with regard to my normal productivity. Truth be told, I am struggling…to say the LEAST.

Weeknights are filled with anxiety about how I’m going to manage to get through another day with a toddler and a 4-year-old in tow. My kids are spending more time in front of the TV than ever before. Meanwhile, my social media feeds are flooded with online photos/posts from other moms showcasing their daily outdoor scavenger hunts, Pinterest crafts, or latest home baking activity with their children. I cannot provide a solution to seamlessly working from home with children during this global crisis. BUT what I can provide, are my thoughts on how to cope with this new reality that has (for now), no end in sight:

Lean on Your Partner

My spouse and I are currently both working from home which makes matters complicated. We each have conference calls throughout the day where we need to be physically and mentally present. This can be challenging with a toddler sitting on your lap. Instead of arguing over whose work-related priority warranted the other to entertain the kids while shuffling off their own work for an hour, we spend approximately 15 minutes each evening going over our calendar for the following day to establish a makeshift “schedule” on how we can balance our time between work and the kids.

Caveat: this doesn’t mean we wake up everyday with a perfectly coordinated/balanced agenda! Each day is different…some days we have headphones in our ears while playing Hungry Hippos with our 4-year-old. I’ll add that we strive not to discuss specific work-related priorities and compare the “importance” of these priorities.

Break it down for your Co-Workers

I’m not, by any means, advising anyone to drone on and on to your co-workers about the challenges of working from home with young children – but it’s also not a time to completely evade professional responsibilities. With many of your co-workers however, home-life may have never previously entered the conversation. As I dial into my daily Zoom meetings, I’m learning about everyone’s reality very quickly – I can hear dogs barking in the background to go outside, I can hear someone’s kids wrestling on the kitchen floor, and I can see someone’s spouse making lunch in the kitchen.

Everyone’s home-life comes with its own challenges right now – so explain yours! I participated in a Zoom conference call this morning while my antsy toddler combed my hair – this is my reality. My boss checks-in with our team every other day which has been essential to keeping everyone on the same page however it also serves as a forum to advise (NOT complain) of any challenges we’re facing. Having my kids sitting next to me as I’m trying to craft an email isn’t easy – and it’s important that my co-workers understand this.

Your kids enjoy this time with you…I promise

Full disclosure – I don’t spend the entirety of my evenings carefully planning how I’m going to entertain my kids the following day… I would love to tell you otherwise, but truthfully, by 5pm, I’m exhausted -physically and mentally. Every single day for the past three weeks I’ve spent my days feeling guilt that I’m not giving my children undivided attention and structured play throughout the day. When 7:30am rolls around, I’m turning on my Keurig and sitting down at my kitchen table to stare at a screen, next to my partner (who is doing the same) for a good portion of the day.

My kids are not used to this. They have difficulties entertaining themselves for long periods and they’re too young to understand why their day suddenly looks so different. When I was tucking my oldest son into bed the other day, I asked him “do you miss school?”, he replied “no”, I continued with “do you feel bored all day”, he replied with …”no”. I continued “do you feel happy??”, he replied with “yes mom, I love being with you and dad.” My oldest is my “old soul” and he always brings me that solace I need when my mind is nagging me about my parenting. Our usual daily grind has me dropping the kids off at 7:00am so that I can be at work from precisely 8:15am until 4:15pm.

Trust me when I say, your kids – they’re fine! This is such a needed break for everyone, especially the kids. You’re all they need. Just be kind, be present, and show them love. I promise, they don’t need much more than that right now!

Evenings are still for you mom and dad!

In speaking with my mommy-friends who are currently working from home – we’re noticing a growing trend… “normal working hours” is turning into “working around the clock.” Remote-working has seemingly dissolved the normalcy of the routine workday and has morphed into emails flying at all hours. When I finally get my kids to bed at 8pm after juggling a full day of emails, diaper changes, spreadsheets, meal-prep, conference calls, outdoor play etc. I cringe to think about the idea of opening up my laptop to do a little extra in the evening.

After a couple weeks of boiling guilt when I’d fall asleep next to one of my kid’s after bedtime stories, or indulging in a couple episodes of The Tiger King with my partner, I packed that guilt away and decided that I wasn’t going to dwell on what I couldn’t finish during my workday. As a parent – you NEED some time for yourself in the evening. Being able to set aside some time each day for you that doesn’t involve work or the kids is important for your mental health right now – even if it means turning on your local news station to bring yourself up to speed on the latest realities of this pandemic.

…Because it’s 2020.

Listen up friends! Some of you don’t want to hear this right now…but I’m going to say it…its 2020 and the world of electronics is alive and well. A couple hours sitting in front of an iPad watching Peppa Pig is okay sometimes! We own one kid-safe programmed iPad that my children share. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for the silence it has brought me. ESPECIALLY during those ½ – 1 hour mid-morning Zoom meetings when my kids would otherwise be running around like feral kittens. Parents – it’s not your job to be Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke right now.

If your household looks anything like mine, it’s probably full of unused and/or neglected toys and kids complaining that they’re bored. Don’t spend your days stressed about how you’re going to get through your next conference call without a WWE Royal Rumble taking place on the kitchen floor behind you. A little screen time is fine. It will bring peace to both you and your household when you need it most.

Parents, I can’t tell you the next few weeks are going to become easier. BUT we’ll get through it together. We’ll do what we do best – cope.

If your HR Department is lacking on their resources specifically curated for “parents” check out the links below:

And if you’re looking for some tips on how to prepare for Easter (when making multiple trips to the store isn’t recommended) check out our girl Reilly’s Easter at Home – Tips for Maintaining Self-Isolation.