This is my first mother’s day and it has me reflecting a lot on motherhood. I can’t imagine any mother forgets the moment it happened. The first time you hear the sound of your baby cry, charging into the world, saying I’m here. I know I will never forget my moment. After a full 24hrs labouring and trying to will our little one out, we moved to an emergency c-section. In that moment all I could think was please just let us be okay. With my husband at my shoulder, we kept calm and let the incredible heroes do their work. Next thing I knew, I heard the soft sound that we had been waiting for. All I could think to myself was “we made it.”
Once I heard his soft wail, I couldn’t help but do the same. Our voices filled the operating room, and he was placed on my chest where he remained for weeks to come. Nine months of praying that we would get to this moment was over. We were together again, in a different way.
As we packed up our things to finally leave the hospital, we knew life would never be the same.
Sore, tired and hungry we began the long walk from the maternity ward to the elevators. It was finally time to make our way home, after a long four days postpartum. As we got off the elevator and started walking down the glamorous halls of Oakville Trafalgar, we felt the eyes of everyone around us watching us walk into our new life. It was as if we had just won the lottery and everyone knew it. Sympathetic smiles filled the hallway and it took every ounce of strength not to cry. It may have been the hormones, but I knew I had a few seconds before the waterworks began. Life as we knew it was forever changed. As we loaded our car with the balloons and gifts from our family, we had one extra piece of cargo. Leo. Our new little buddy. I sat in the back seat with him, and when we began to drive the tears flowed. This little person was ours to keep. Forever.
Overwhelmed with the love I felt for him, it made me think of my own mom.
I don’t think I ever fully realized what me and my sister meant to her until I had Leo and as the months go on, I have had some time to reflect on what it means to be a mom. I have realized the times my mom shielded us from harsh realities, she did so because she felt it was her duty to protect us. The times my mom forgave me, she did so because she loves me unconditionally. And the moments where I probably didn’t deserve her forgiveness, at least not so fast, she gave it fully and without hesitation, because that’s what moms do. They love us, no matter what. I have learned the true meaning of a few important words because of my mom.
Forgiveness
When I thought I may have hurt her feelings, I probably did. Worse than I knew. But she forgave me quickly and fully because I am her person. The thought of me feeling guilty hurt her more than whatever I did. So it was over before it began.
Worry
When I forgot to call or text and she was upset with me, it was because the thought of something bad happening to me haunted her thoughts and she knew it would break her.
Joy
When we celebrated successes together, it was with her whole heart. Because all she ever wanted was for me to be happy in life. Now I know that nothing can produce the kind of joy that motherhood allows.
Love
The times I felt so loved by her was like an iceberg. I only saw the tip of what she truly felt for me. I understand this now that I am a mother and it is truly amazing to be able to have this special kind of love.
Resilience
Although life was not easy, and there were many bumps along the road, she stayed the course and never gave up so that me and my sister would only know love. Moms are warriors. Even if you don’t think yours is, think again. The full sacrifice of being a mom does not end after labour. It begins. Moms are marathoners in a race full of obstacles and when there is a chance to leave, they stay the course.
Sometimes I catch myself “acting like my mom”, and I take a second now to appreciate what she has taught me. The lessons passed down through action. Becoming a mom has surpassed any expectation I have ever had. I feel overwhelmed to have this additional purpose in my life. Yes, there are sleepless nights. Yes, I have much less time for myself, and of course, many new responsibilities. But, nonetheless I am so thankful to be in this chapter and hope time moves slower here.
Today on mother’s day, I hope everyone takes a moment to recognize their mom, whether it is through actions or reflection.
Let me finish by saying, I love you mom and thank you.
If you’re looking for a way to say thank you to your mom/mother figure this mother’s day it’s not too late, follow the link here.
